Life: a letter to the internet

Dear Internet,

Today i worked out again. I've been doing that a lot lately and it makes me feel more powerful and self confident (even though I'm doing the 30 Day Shred and every time Jillian tells me to get into plank pose I want to scream, "NOOOOO! NOT AGAIN!!!" but I do it anyway and then much later (after I've showered and caught my breath) i feel freaking amazing because I could do it. I can do real pushups now. I never could before. I like that).

Right now my husband is walking around the house in boxer-briefs and a sweartshirt hoodie. This is one of the things they don't tell you will happen when you get married. Your spouse will do the most RANDOM things ever and it will be the most fun to find out how weird they can be. Like, really? A sweatshirt and boxer-briefs!? How is that not the greatest thing ever? It definitely is.

I got to have a late lunch with my best friend today at Our Place. We always go to the same place to get Soup For Lunch. Though recently it's been Soup then an Entree and then we split Dessert. Fine by me, I'm working out now so it's okay, right? lol (i'm pretty sure that's the kind of thinking that got me into the situation of needing to work out in the first place).

Anyway, today she's sad because she entered a contest to win a free $90,000 wedding but she didn't win. Some other couple won and we decided that we hate them because they look like they're trashy and they met at a dive bar. They also have four kids and are in their mid-thirties. We don't think they deserved to win as much as she and her fiance did. They were accused of cheating anyway. Really we hate them because they won and she didn't and we're jealous of them. Okay and all that other stuff I said too about them not deserving to win.

Who knows though really WHO deserves or doesn't deserve to win things? The word "deserve" is completely meaningless anyway. Deserve is in the eye of the beholder if you think about it. There will always be someone who thinks they deserve something and someone else who thinks they don't. There's really no such thing. We've all had hardships and we've all had successes.

I went to dinner later with my in-laws and it was nice. I had a salad because I want to continue to lose weight since i've been doing so well on my work-out/fitness thing. I don't even like salad to be honest. I know that's like some "Gasp!" non-girl-thing or something. I'm supposed to like go to lunch in the cities with my friends and eat salads and wear high heels and be obsessed with my phone the whole time but really i don't do any of that (okay fine except for the phone part). I only liked this salad tonight because there was fruit in it.

I took some pictures today too. The light was beautiful in my room when the sun was setting. I tried to get some silhouettes but they didn't come out as well as I had hoped. That was sad. My husband really liked them though. He really likes me. I'm lucky because he's pretty great.

Tomorrow the Snow Days are officially over and he'll be going back to work which makes me sad. I'll miss him because I have off.

Sometimes I get depressed when I'm home alone on a day off. I guess it's because I sit and think and compare my life to where my fake life in my head says i SHOULD be by now. Should is a very stupid and dangerous word. There is only what IS. And nothing is wrong with that.

Maybe tomorrow i'll work on some of the writing ideas i have. That'd be awesome.

this morning i had oatmeal with berries. It's the little things that make me the happiest. How bout you?




Love,

Rhian